Lightblubs on the Mirror

Life is good
It could be better
I'm waiting to be ready
and I know it's getting
The lightblubs on the
are closer than they appear
The light in my life
is further than it needs
to be.

God, I need you now
God, I want you closer.
Just be with me though this
hard time and lead me to
Your ever burning light.

School is getting better
and it's getting worse
The scarf on the floor
sits half finished
and my friends are
getting close.
I lose my phone half the
time and lose my mind
the rest.
Work is getting me nowhere
and I want out of this mess.
College seems so far away
but like the lightblubs,
is closer than I think.

God, I need you now
God, I want you closer.
Just be with me though this
hard time and lead me to
Your ever burning light.

God, I need you now
God, I want you closer.
Just be with me though this
hard time and lead me to
Your ever burning light.


the rain it falls harder now

man...i can't get him out of my head...it's wonderful and distracting at the same time...like, i'll be in school trying to do math then all of the sudden i can feel his arm around me and i lose my train of though...all day friday i was freaking out cause he was getting his widsom teeth removed and i was so sure i wasn't going to be able to see him over the weekend...thankfully i did get too...man...i hate being away from him for too long...my body starts to ache and i cant' function properly...at least i'll get to see him on friday...and at least i fall asleep every night texting him...he holds a very speical place in my heart and i can't wait to see him again...=]


Then and Now

Let’s go back to May of 2003, when a band from Chicago released their first full length album entitled Take This to Your Grave.

This band later went on to release four full length albums, each one getting more mainstream than the last. Yep, that’s right folks; I’m talking about Fall Out Boy.

Fall Out Boy is made up of Patrick Stump, Pete Wentz, Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley. These four friends have been though so much together, from marriages and scandals to charity work and writing four successful studio albums. But through all of this “hardship”, Fall Out Boy went from being this great amazing band that wrote songs from the heart, to…something that only writes songs to make money.

With the release of their latest album Folie à Deux on December 16, it is very plain to see that Fall Out Boy has lost sight of their original roots. The use of additional vocals and other instruments make the album seem too loud for its own good. Only a few songs seem to jump out at me as being really good. The album recently went gold on January 27, selling over 500,000 copies.

One of them, “What A Catch, Donnie,” doesn’t sound like the Fall Out Boy I used to love, but the last 30 seconds is where this slow song makes up for itself. Portions of lyrics from past hits are sung in the background by Elvis Costello, Gabe Saporta of Cobra Starship, Brandon Urie of Panic at the Disco, Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes, Doug Neumann of Doug, Alex DeLeon of The Cab, and William Beckett of The Academy Is…. This is the only redeeming quality that I could find on this album and it only lasted a total of 30 seconds.

It used to be that every single song on a Fall Out Boy album got me excited to hear more and now, it’s like I’m listening to every other band in the world who only write music to make money.

Infinity on High, which was released on February of 2007, was ranked 46 on Rolling Stone’s Top 50 Albums of 2007. The album had a total of five singles that came off of it; each had their own music video that accompanied the song. This album shows the transition that Fall Out Boy had from being really good to being really bad. Only a few songs like, "Thnks fr th Mmrs" and "The Take Over, the Breaks Over" held a glimmer of what Fall Out Boy once was; an awesome pop-punk band that could make great music like no one’s business. Other songs on Infinity on High were worth remembering and others…just didn’t quite cut it. Although they did sell over 1,500,000 copies of Infinity on High, it wasn’t one of their best albums.

From Under The Cork Tree was where Fall Out Boy made it big. With singles from the album like “Dance, Dance”, “Sugar, We’re Going Down” and “A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More Touch Me”, made it really hard for fans, or anyone for that matter, not to like this album. The songs were still down to earth and were written from the heart. The videos that came with all the singles as well were some of the best that Fall Out Boy has ever done. This is the album where everyone had finally heard about this Chicago band. Their record sales soared, selling over 2,600,000 records.

In May of 2003, Fall Out Boy released their first full length album; Take This To Your Grave. This featured singles like, “Dead On Arrival”, “Grand Theft Autumn / Where Is Your Boy” and “Saturday”. It’s hard to imagine that Fall Out Boy didn’t receive more attention from fans. The songs are catchy and have so much more heart and soul in the lyrics than their newer songs. Wentz, who is the primary lyricist, collaborated with Stump to write this album. They did a great job and this album clearly doesn’t get as much credit as it deserves. The song off this album, “Dead On Arrival,” is available for play on the video game Rock Band.

Looking back on their career, their songs have gone from something great and are slowly dwindling to music that is just there to make money. Before they became famous, Fall Out Boy was making music because they actually wanted to not because they wanted to make money (shocker). Fall Out Boy, although they deny it, have sold out and become something that everyone can relate to now, instead of a select few. They’re trying to make the most money they can so all they do is write songs that are so generic and boring that it hurts to listen to them.

If you would like to listen to some good quality old school Fall Out Boy, check out Take This To Your Grave and From Under The Cork Tree. Those two albums will give you the best look at Fall Out Boy before they got famous and sold out.




Society has ruined the dating pool. Not only are you expected to say "I love you," on your first date, but the whole concept of the date has been abolished! Whatever happened to the guy courting the girl in order to gain her affection? It sickens me that both parties are subjected and thrown into this reality that is society today. Say if after like, a week you decide that you don't like the person anymore, you breakup with them and you move on to the next one. RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD NOT BE LIKE THAT!!! Who in the world decided that it should be like that in the first place? Some dumb 6th grader who wanted a boyfriend but liked 8 different boys? I think that is who decided it should be like that and that dumb 6th grader has messed it up for the rest of us! Maybe when I get older this will all be easier, but I'm not too sure. This could follow me though my whole adult life and then my children's outlook on relationships will be skewed because of society because no doubt some other dumb 6th grader is gonna think of another great idea for relationships. It's a never ending cycle that will follow everyone though this little phase called life.


Ok...That video is like, the coolest video ever!

A lot of things have been on my mind latly. Well...Maninly just the issue I have with Katie right now. I really wanna be with James (who is like the most amazing guy ever) but I made this oath with Katie that I wouldn't date until the summer. And she even told me that it wouldn't be a good idea for me to hang out with James anymore because he might get the wrong idea. But with James, everything feels right. He is willing to wait for me, which is tottaly radd. =] But I'm a little scared that he'll lose intrest and find someone else before he leaves for college. I keep praying about it and I really do think that God wants James and I to be together. I'll just keep praying about and see where it goes.


Stuck In America

Wow...The last few days have been just...really great. =]

I honestly thought I would never feel this way about someone. He's funny, nice, charming, creative and a believer. Theres a million other things but I don't think think there's enough room to fit all of them. But my favorite thing, possibly, is that he's so...real. Like, with Blake, he would act different around me and around his family than he would in public. I could never tell what was going on his head. But with James, he's so real and I don't have to act like a different person around him. And believe it or not, he likes my little quriks (which is awesome!) =]

This just feels right =]


Setting Goals

Today, I decided that I need to get my short story done by the end of the month and that it needs to have a title and everthing. That'll give me about a month to edit it and make sure it looks real good for the contest that I'm in. =]

I'm getting my hair cut today. I kinda wanna go back to when it was really short, but then I got to thinking that that would be too short. Not wanting to look like a boy, I think I'm just gonna get about an inch cut off and get my bangs trimmed. I really want straight bangs, but I'm not too sure that I could pull those off, so I might just get my side swept bangs.

My mom is gone this week so it's just me and my dad. It's pretty cool, I guess. We kinda just stay seperate but at the same time, we're close. I'm not too sure how to describe it, but it's comforting and I like it that way.



Today was pretty good.

The sun was out and everything was really pretty. I went to castlewood with my environmental issues class and the hike was really nice, even if I didn't have the right shoes on.

Actor's Studio 1 kinda sucked, partly because of the group I was in. It just sucked cause this one girl didn't have her entire group there so she joined mine and we had the same character and she was just trying to take over and so far, I haven't gotten to run though the scene with my group. Oh well. I'll just have to overly work with my group the next time.

But A Day To Remember's new album is really really good! Go check it out!!!


"It's magic," she says to me

Crazy weather we've been having. It's Febuary and it was 55 degrees yesterday. INSANE!!!

I got a new dress for swing dancing, now I just need to get someone to cover me for when I wanna go. I've been getting so few hours I hate giving them away but at least I have more of a life?



I glanced up at him from under my eyelashes, this always gets them, and listened to him speak. His words flowed together like water down a stream. Taking a sip of my tea, I watched his lips mumble out words that wouldn’t normally intrigue a regular person.

I shivered and mumbled about being cold. Looking up at him, I saw him take off his jacket and hand it to me, still warm from being on his body. Thanking him, I donned his warn leather jacket and hugged it tight to my body. His only access of warmth smelled of his musky cologne and coffee beans. I hugged it tighter to my chest and watched his eyes take it off of me. Smiling to myself, we resumed our talk and kept walking down the strip. Most of the shops were closed, due to the weather, but it was still a nice place to walk. Dry leaves rustled at my feet as I looked up to smile at him.

His smile could melt ice. Mike’s pale pink lips curved upward revealing that I had broken though that barrier that he tried to keep up. He had just proved that he was capable of compassion just though that little curves of his lips. Those full pale pink lips that begged me to kiss them; to join my own red lips to his. They were taunting me with the known fact that I could never kiss him, that I could never become one with him.


Tomorrow I have to give a talk about relationships for my Friday morning bible study. I'm freaking out! I know what I'm going to talk about, but at the same time, I have no idea what is going to come out of my mouth. Wish me luck?

Heaven For The Weather

It usually takes me about 30ish minutes for me to get ready in the morning. But I think about 20 of those is spent on my laptop. I'm so weird...


I Can't Believe We're Not Going to Fight For This School

Watching X-Men 3 after having quite the awkward moment at the Lodge. Oh well. I guess stuff like that happens.....


We're So Far Away

Standing in the
White shower,
Flows around
Covering me in
Taking away all
Of the
Stress that
Has built up

It does not
Look like
How much weigh
How smart you are
It will still
Engulf you
In its loving
Safe arms
And take care of

Washing away the
Day and
Everyone that
Hurt you
Reminding you
Of people who
In you
Relaxing your
Tight muscles and
Telling you
Its ok to
The water will not
Judge you.
It will not call you
The water
Will love you
Watch you

You will never be
with the same
Each time you
Get to start
A new name
A new face
A new person

The water will
Watch over you
And love you
Care for you
Guide you
Just trust in the water.


The Ocean

School is really stressing me out. I wish homework wasn't a huge deal...


Hearts Pounding

I think this summer, I might start painting. Like, going and buying some canvas or a sketch book and some watercolors and painting in a field or something. IDK...it just feels like something I should start doing.