you look the part but looks dont tell the truth

My New Years Resolution this year is to live. Like, I don't think I've ever really lived and I think after 17 years it might be a good idea to start. How am I going to achieve this you ask? I'll post a list on New Years with everything I would like to achieve this year then when I do achieve that, I'll blog about it! How easy is that?

Ok, I have 2 days to come up with a list. Wish me luck =]


remember 2 slow down @ all OUR favorite p a r t s

So...I'm pretty sure I've fallen back into my depression. Something I've tried so hard to not do. I just don't really feel anything anymore for anything...Well...music is the only thing that really makes me feel anymore. I've been listening to Paramore for the past few days and there's just something about it that I like. Man. What is wrong with me. I feel like a total failure. Maybe that's why none of my friends want to hang out with me anymore or the fact that I'm just tired all the time and have no motivation to do anything anymore.

This sucks



While reading Cat’s Cradle, Bokononism was mentioned quite a bit. I think if I wasn’t a Christian, I would want to be a Bokononist. They seem like such peaceful people and all they really want is to be happy.

As weird as this sounds, I think that’s a reoccurring theme in Vonnegut’s novels. The characters are all looking for the happiness in their lives but often times they don’t find it. For example, with Billy Pilgrim, even though he was a bystander in his own life, he just wanted to be loved. He searched for love with Montana and his own wife. Although, I’m not quite sure he ever really found love. The same thing happens to Howard W. Campbell Jr. After his wife dies, he just sorta lives in this zombie like state. He does enough to survive and that’s good enough for him. When he thinks Helga comes back, his life suddenly has purpose again and he has a reason to live. He’s happy. I think Vonnegut truly wants his characters to be happy but in the real world, life doesn’t always draw a fair card and he wants his readers to know that. Vonnegut is very much aware that life doesn’t work out that way and I think, despite the fact that his books were so out there that he wanted it to be real in some way and this was the way he could be real.



After watching Julie & Julia, I really want to start cooking again. Maybe this upcoming new year I'll cook more or something. I'm acutally a pretty good cook even though I've never taken a class. I've learned everything I know from my daddy who I love very much.

Also, I want it to snow =]


Go Forth

Lately, I've been looking at the world though the eyes of a college student. I'm 80% sure that I'm going to go to Columbia College Chicago, but that's beside the point. I'm getting really sick of staying in one place for too long. Traveling is really high up on my list. So is quitting my job, but in order to travel, money has to come from somewhere.

I want to get into a car and drive away and not have to think about school or work or anything. I don't want to get hurt by a guy again. I want to leave this life I have behind and just go out there and see the world that I want to write about. I want to get my tatoo. I want to live. Is that too much to ask?



This is my review for Sherwood's new CD "Qu". Enjoy!!! =]

Shelter – I like how it starts out. It’s so different and awesome. I think it would be so weird with other instruments, but it works with just the piano. This would be a good opening song for a show.

Maybe This Time- Man, I forgot how good Sherwood is. These lyrics are really good. And the simplicity of the band is really cool cause you don’t have as much to focus on. His voice is so amazing and I think this song has a good message overall. This song has the potential I think to be really good live, but I haven’t seen Sherwood in a few years, so I’m not sure. But I think it would be really good acoustic. The synthesizer is really good in this song too. All I can picture is him dancing at their last show I saw.

Hit The Bottom – this vaguely reminds me of The Beatles. The drums are really good in this song. So is the acoustic guitar. I’d really like to get the sheet music for this song. This would be a good song live, I think it would have a really positive audience interaction. I like how in this whole album there have been parts where the music is really quiet and the vocals are really prominent, it’s really nice and are more like what I think a local band would do.

Make It Through- Again, I like how this song opens. It’s good that I’m listening to this with my big headphones cause I can get the full effect. This is most defiantly a headphone album. There would be so much I wouldn’t catch if I had done it though the speakers. His voice sounds really good in this song too, I think he sounds better next to an acoustic guitar rather than an electric one, but that’s just me. This album is way different than anything I’ve ever heard. Most songs or albums now are about love or breaking up and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but it’s getting a little repeative for me. But here, it’s really subtle.

You Are- The synthesizer is really good in this song. Yeah, his voice does sound better next to an acoustic. I like how right after I said something about a love song, one comes on. But it’s a different type of love song, which is really cool. It’s more describing the person instead of saying oh I love you so much. The guitar solo is really nice too. Then the quiet drums right after. And I like how his voice seems kinda far off in that one part.

Ground Beneath My Feet- this kinda reminds me of Relient K because of the piano. His voice seems more somber and I can’t decide if I like that or not. I think it fits better with this song, but if he had done it for like, Make It Through, it would’ve been weird. Oh, never mind, it got really fast. Yeah, this sounds more like Sherwood. This also reminds me of A Day In The Life, but way more upbeat. Just how it starts off slow then gets faster. The guitar is really good in this song. I love how it’s just all their voices at that one part and nothing else. But to be honest, it is getting kinda old, but I think it’ll be better once I listen to it again.

Around You- Again, really glad I have my headphones. This intro is amazing. With all the different layers that are going on, it sounds so awesome. Sherwood would make a really good instrumental band as well I think. They can get really creative. This is maybe one of the best songs I’ve heard so far. It’s so interesting and all the different elements that are in it make it really special. The lyrics are really cute too. This is so something I would put on any mix CD for a friend or someone I like. Oh, I like the heavier guitar towards the end too. It’s nice cause it kinda breaks up what’s going on. This whole song was just really cute. Best so far.

What Are You Waiting For?- The drums at the beginning kinda startled me. I like the lyrics as well for this song. I can really relate to what he’s saying. The guitar sounds really good here too. The background vocals too are a nice touch as well. I can see this song being in a movie or something just kinda playing in the background. The bass line at the end is really good too. I like how it ended too.

Not Gonna Love- Oh, I love this song so far! The drums are awesome! The first thing you notice by far. The synthesizer sounds awesome too. Again, I can relate to the lyrics for this song too. I like how he repeats himself, it’s a nice touch. That little drum solo was kick butt! Same with the guitar solo. Sherwood has some of the best guitar solos. The bass line and the shouting are really nice too, something different and unexpected. This song is gonna be really good live, I can just tell.

Worn- I like this song too. I need the sheet music for it too. I love his voice with an acoustic guitar. I can just picture him playing it too, which is awesome. This is another good song live. Oh, who’s voice is that? It’s a nice touch to the song as well. Their voices sound so great together. This song is really cute too. This is a good song to listen to while it’s raining.

Free – this is a total 180 from the last song, but I like it. This would be a good trailer song for a movie I think. These lyrics are awesome as well. The music is really nice in this song. Not too loud during the singing, but the little twangs that happen in between are really unique. And I like that it’s heavier during the chorus, cause then you know that it’s an important part of the song. Oh and the piano part is really nice. It just abruptly changes, which is kinda cool. I like everything that’s happening in the last minute and a half of the song.

No Better – I like the intro to this song, again another song to listen to while it’s raining outside. I like his voice in this as well. It’s very descriptive, which you don’t really get a lot in songs. I so can relate to this song. Divorce or having parents that don’t love each other anymore sucks big time. This would be a good song for a breakup album. I just feel kinda numb listening to this song and I can’t tell if it’s a good thing or not. I do like the piano and guitar in this song though. I would really like to see a music video for this song. The outro is really nice too, it just adds to the song and I think it would be weird without it. I like how it just kinda ends, a nice way to end the album as well. =]


Forget and Not Slow Down

Hey everyone! This is my review of Relient K's new album Forget and Not Slow Down! Again, it's like what I did with Hot Mess, I listened to the album and wrote down what I thought while the songs were playing! Enjoy =]

1. Forget and Not Slow Down - Really nice intro. I like Matt’s voice in this. Its way different than anything he’s done before. The guitar is a little loud, but I think it’s supposed to be that way. The piano could be a little later. LOVE this bass line! I like these lyrics. It’s like he’s talking to me and only me. I feel like dancing. The guitar is way more sophisticated than in their past albums. It’s like, he wants to keep going forward with their new sound and leave the past behind. This song is gonna be AMAZING live. The chorus is easy to pick up and it’s fun to sing.

2. I don’t need a soul- This piano is really awesome. Oh, nice way to add the guitar. Again, another song I can tell is gonna be really good live. I like the stuff going on in the background, but I think it takes away from the vocals a little more than it should. I like how the guitar will pause for a second while he’s singing or it’ll just go real quiet. I like this song a lot. I like the change in the tempo and the guitar changes. But I can’t tell if this song is about Jesus or a girl. Is that Adam from Owl City? I’ll look that up later. The only thing I don’t really like is that title, cause I thought they were a Christian band and he’s singing about not needing a soul.

3. Candlelight- I like the beginning. It reminds me of their old stuff a little. Like from Mmhmm or something. I could maybe swing dance to this song, but really slowly. I like the upbeatness of it. They mentioned sirens again…And what’s with all these songs about girls? Come on Matt! Love the Lady and The Tramp mention. I feel like dancing to this song too. This would be a really good song to put on a mix for someone you like. I’m liking this little instrumental part. The drums are really good in this song as well.

4. Candlelight (outro) - Why did you need a whole track for the outro? Couldn’t you have just put it at the end of the last track? But the little kid piano is a really nice touch.

5. Part of It - Nice bass line at the beginning. Potentially, this could be another good song live. I feel like the music in the background is taking away from the lyrics a little. Again, another song to put on a mix for someone you like. I do like the guitar parts though and the drums are a nice little touch too. I think this song has a nice message because it’s saying how we’re a part of everything. I like Matt’s voice with the single strum in the background. I love when songs have a part like that, then it gets loud again. LOVE IT! It kinda reminds me of the Almost in a way.
6. Outro - Again? What’s with the 1 minute outros? I don’t get it…They’ve never done this in any other album. I like the piano in it. I can’t tell which voice I should be focused on. I don’t know what that was at the end, but I liked it.

7. Therapy- Man, Matt has improved so much on the piano. The drums seem like they’ve gotten a lot better on this album too. This is one of those songs you listen to when it’s raining out, I think. I think if they had the right crowd, this would be a good song live. I like the positive mention of God. The guitar I think has gotten more sophisticated as well. There’s always like, one song that jumps out at me and I think this is that one song. =] LOVE IT!

8. Over It - Oh, Matt you’re voice is so amazing. I just want to hug you. I can just see them all sitting around playing this song. This song would be really good acoustic and I think I hear an acoustic guitar in the background. Punk Goes Acoustic 3? Maybe? This is another song to listen to while it’s raining or when it’s night. I like that Matt’s voice is more prominent in this song, cause in the other songs I feel like he was kinda put on the side. But since they’re using just a piano and acoustic guitar and maybe drums, it’s better for his voice to be heard. Oh man. LOVING the…sax I think it is….or maybe it’s a sting and the footsteps and door!

9. Sahara - OH MAN! LOVE this opening. Did not expect that at all!!! This would be amazing to hear live. You can tell they put a lot of work into this song. His voice sounds so raw and that guitar is just amazing. This totally reminds me of the heavier stuff in Five Score and Seven Years Ago. I like those vocals in the background. This song is way different than the other songs I’ve heard so far. Have I mentioned that guitar? This is such a different sound for them and I love it. Matt’s voice is just going above and beyond what I thought. Oh slow part with the fast guitar in the background. I like the God reference and the abrupt ending.

10. [Untitled]- Hmmmmmm…….this is total Relient K. Just random nonsense with an awesome guitar or whatever that is in the background.

11. Savannah - I want to know what that is! It sounds so awesome. I feel like I’m right there with them. I think this is their first song that’s named after a girl. It’s got a kind of African feel to it. I like the acoustic guitar that’s just like, yeah I’m here. This I think would be another good song done acoustic. Is that a Spanish guitar? Well, whatever it is, I like it. And this slow part kinda towards the end. This is just a happy song! I love it. Matt’s voice can be heard very well in this song too. I like the ending too. Nice and clean.

12. [Untitled]- I want to know what this is all about! I could put this on a mix for someone that I like, which would be awesome. It’s so cute =]

13. If You Believe Me - I like this intro. It’s like their going back to their old roots. And they just keep layering everything. That was a cool way to bring everything in. This song would be good live too. But why so many songs about girls? Huh Matt? Who’s singing with him? Cause if it’s not Matty T, then they have such power and emotion in their voice. But if it is him, he has gotten I don’t want to say better, but I like the new style. Oh, love the piano part. They are all so talented.

14. This Is The End (If You Want It) - The piano is just amazing. This is fer sure one of those albums that you have to listen to all the way though the first time because it’s just awesome. But I don’t want it to be the end… I like the upbeatness of this song too. The drums are really nice too as well as the guitars.

15. (If You Want It)- Whoa, the song changed. These boys are so talented. I like they’re mentioning the end of the album cause a lot of time people won’t do that, but it’s really cool that they’ve brought it up as a song. I don’t want it to be the end. You are worthwhile. This piano, my goodness. It’s so much better than what I’m used to from them. I love his voice. It’s gotten a lot better, I think anyways.


Sadie Lady

How cute is this??


This is why I eat Facon

I think that the Swine Flu is just a cover up by the government to help the economy. I mean, how many people have you seen with those HUGE bottle of hand sanitizer or carrying around those little wipes? I know that within the past like, 3 weeks, I've seen way more of those than I should. But alas, I've started to become this way too. Not only did I wipe down my keyboard before finishing my page today for Newspaper, but I also took 3 pumps of hand sanitizer during the class. But for the record, I can't get sick. Starbucks can't afford to be missing any more people lately and I need the money to go to Colorado to visit my brother. I've never had a flu shot or had the flu, but watch me get it this year even after I'm being all careful.


Pour Emily

This post is for Emily, who lights up my day and is just a great friend =]

INVISIBLE CHILDREN IS COMING TO OUR SCHOOL!!! I'm super pumped about this! There is still a lot of promo stuff that we have to do and t-shirts are gonna need to be ordered soon. I can't wait though!! =]


Come Away With Me

I'm pretty sure that today was the worst day of work ever! Ok, not only did I have to ride in a police car (I'll explain in just a minute) but I got out 10 minutes late because the shift on duty was taking a 20 minute break.

AND that same shift on duty also left the place a mess last night when she closed and her cousin was in the store after hours, which is a big no no. But Brooke and Jo-Jo spent like, an hour cleaning up after her. Sam just needs to get her shit together if she wants to keep her job.

But so then later on in the day, this guy comes in and is acting really weird. He was all shaky and jittery and was just not right. But so he paid for his drink, in quarters, and then asked for a straw. He walked over to the condament bar and then left. And when he got to his car, he booked it out of there. Turns out, he stole about $10 worth of tips from us and another customer's iPhone. She filed a police report and I ended up having to go with the police to see if this guy they did catch was the guy that was in the store. It wasn't, but riding in the back of that cruiser sure was neat.

As soon as I got back to the store, I tried to get as much stuff done as I could cause Sam was not in a good mood and I just wanted to get out of there. I ended up leaving 10 minutes late because she decieded to take a 25 minute break.

In a way, I'm kinda glad I have to go back to school tomorrow because then I don't have to deal with work as much, which is really nice and I can just focus on school.

And a hint to anyone who is stressing, Norah Jones is a great way to relax. I love her so much!!


Hot Mess

This is my review of Cobra Starship's new album, Hot Mess, which came out today. I wrote this while listening to the album, so if it sounds ADD, that's why. I didn't go back and add anything once the song was over and done with. This was the first time I listened to the album (But I did have the Good Girls Go Bad single before the album was released). Enjoy!! =]

1. Nice Guys Finish Last
It's different than what I'm used to, but I like that they're taking chances with their music. Lost of sympathizers, which is expected of them. Definitely something that you could dance at a party to. The music is making me listen to the lyrics less, which is kind of a set back, because I love their lyrics. Good use of guest vocals. Kind of a mix of rockabilly and modern music.

2. Pete Wentz is the Only Reason We're Famous
HUGE '80s vibe. I wanna do aerobics to this song. Again, a good song for a party. Nice use of drums and synthesizers. I like the lyrics cause I can actually hear them this time. It reminds me of 'Just Dance' cause it's describing a night out. I like the change in tone in the middle of the song. Then how it picks up again. That's brilliant. I'm bobbing my head to this music, something I never do!

3. Good Girls Go Bad
I love this song! I could listen to it over and over in the car and not get sick of it. This was perfect for the single. I like it cause of the beat and I can hear the lyrics too. Meester was a good choice for the feature. Again, something I could dance to at a party or Homecoming. The only drawback I have, is when I sing it, I get the lyrics messed up big time. But that just makes me admire the artist even more cause they're the ones who have to sing it all the time. This song makes me feel sexy in a weird sort of way.

4. Fold Your Hands Child
A slow song, something I don't really like from Cobra. There's so much going on in this song. If they wanna do a better slow song, they should have less going on, like with what 3OH!3 did. I like that I can hear the lyrics, even if I can't follow what they're saying. It's different, and I like that. Different from the other slow songs that made up most of !Viva La Cobra! It's like, an upbeat slow song. Gabe did a really good job, vocally in this song.

5. You're Not In On The Joke
Gabe slow down! Singing way too fast. But the beat is nice and the guitar sounds so neat in the background. If I could mix songs, I would use the chorus for like a remix or a mash up or something. I like that they used the title in the song, cause they don't do that all the time. You can tell how hard they've worked on this album, which is really awesome. This is one of those songs you put in a mix to mix it up a little bit and make it less bland. Love the guitar and screaming part!! So different for Cobra to do! Then it gets quiet for a moment, ah that was genius.

6. Hot Mess
This song makes me feel sexy too. I really like this song. The lyrics are really creative and I feel like I'm at a club listening to it. I just wanna get up and dance to this song. The music could be a little louder and the lyrics not as overpowering, but I think that's what makes it sexy. This album is like a party mix waiting to be played. The beat is awesome, but it sounds like all synthesizers

7. Living In The Sky With Diamonds
I like the beat in this, cause I can hear the drums and guitar, which I couldn't hear in the last song. It's a mix between slow and fast, which is interesting. I like the play on words and the comparison to "Lucy in the sky with diamonds", very new for me at least. If the beat was just a little faster or harder, it could be a better party song. I wonder who they're describing in the song. And they say "keep dancing" but I don't feel like dancing to this song. I don't like Gabe's voice in this song, it's too high for me.

8. Wet Hot American Summer
Love the beat already in this song. I like what they did with guitar, very creative. Kinda sounds like Daft Punk a little though. The remix of this song is gonna be amazing and very awesome. It's ironic that this song is about summer, when today it's really overcast and gross outside. But I can't wait to hear the remix of this song. I like the shouting in the background, it makes me feel like I'm at a concert. The slow part is not my cup of tea and I think it would've been fine without it. Clapping in the background too gives me that concert feel too. Go keytar at the end!

9. The Scene Is Dead; Long Live The Scene
Boo! Slow song! I don't like Cobra's slow songs. When I think of Cobra, I think of a party and loud dance music. Again, Gabe is singing too high for me. The keytar is good too and the drums in the background are there.

10. Move Like You're Gonna Die
Ok, nice contrast against the last song. I can dance to this song too. The title really built something up for me, and it fulfilled it for me too. Dance parties all across these great states will be playing this song. Bobbing my head again. The slow parts give you like a small break and help build up the music as well, which is really nice. The drums are really good in the slow parts too. Who are those girls shouting? Nie guitar solo.

11. The World Will Never Do
Nice keyar part. Geez, another slow song. Really Cobra? What happened to my dance party? I was really hoping for like, a huge dance party after that second keytar part but it did not happen. Ok, the rapper is cool, but I want a dance party! Too many slow songs! This was a bad way to end the album, to be honest. There's nothing really more that I can say.

12. Good Girls Go Bad (MoAzza Remix)
Ok, my dance party is back! I like the different background music against the original vocals. And the abruptness of Gabe saying 'Them', it's really funky. Bobbing my head again. This makes me wanna lose control. Huge techno feel to it. I like that it's longer than the original, cause for me the original is waaayy too short for me. This song was a way better way to end the album. They should have kept it on the original album and not just for the Amazon Download.


OK, so overall, I thought it was a really good album. Some parts were way too slow for my taste, but then again, no one asks me before making an album. I can't wait to hear these songs either live or at a party or remixed on the radio. Good job guys!!



I'm in such a PlayRadioPlay! mood that it's not even funny. Only PRP! and Dashboard can help in get though this funk that I'm in, and I have no Dashboard. But Dan's lyrics are so beautiful and passionate. He's so real! I love it! And it's like he's writing these songs just for me, which is really neat. Like he's taken a little peak into my life and wrote down all the feelings that I can't describe and put them into beautiful songs.
Dan, you really have made this night so much better than it started out to be. =]


Vegan Cupcakes

I'm pretty much just writing this post to get rid of that picture of me at the bottom of the page where I have my gross stye and I just look gross. Well... Good news everyone... My stye.... is still here... =[ I told my mom to call the eye doctor so we could get it checked out. I really hope she did call.

Anyway, on to what this post is really about. I found my Vegan Cupcake book!!! (And a mysterious key) There is a recepie in here on how to make Chai Tea Latte Cupcakes, which I'm sure are so tasty. I plan on making them and telling you all how they came out =] There are a lot of really good ideas in that book such as Gluten free cupcakes and how to make vegan icing! Yummy!!
Oh, this is a picture of that key I found. I wonder where it goes to...

There are 3 Ninjas on this page...

I do not want school to start...But in a way I do. I like scture in my life, but I also like to be spontanious.... That's a total paradox...


Story Of My Life

Don't think I'm in love with him just because I'm asking about him. He's an irritable boy, though he speaks well. But what do I care about words? And yet, words are a good thing when the man speaking them is pleasant to listen to. He's good-looking, but not too good-looking. He's awfully proud, but his pride suits him. He'll grow up to be a proper man. The best thing about him is his complexion: as fast as he offends me with words, his pretty face heals the wound. He's not very tall, but he's tall enough for his age. His legs aren't great, but they're alright. His lips were nice and red, a little more lively and passionate than the red that was in his cheeks—one was pure red and the other more pink. There are women out there, Silvius, who would have nearly fallen in love with him after inspecting him as closely as I have. But I don't love him or hate him—though I suppose I have more reason to hate him than love him. What right did he have to scold me like that? He said my eyes and my hair were black and, now that I think of it, he scorned me. I'm surprised I didn't bite back. But no matter—I'll get back at him soon enough. I'll write him a taunting letter, and you can deliver it. Will you do that for me, Silvius?


Two Lips


I dare you to look at this and tell me it’s not cute


Love2K - The Bailey Version

After reading Evan Taubenfeld's blog about love (Click HERE to read it), it got me thinking about the love I see in my own life.

Recently, love for us Wallace kids hasn't been working out. My brother and his wife of a year and a half got a divorice in May. He's now living with us along with is adorable dog, Sadie, who is also sitting on my bed with me. They were so in love and from the outside, it just looked like the perfect relationship. But in the end, it ended and now my brother drinks a lot more.

As for me...I was dumped over the phone the other night. Since when has that become an accetable way of ending a realtionship. Sure, I broke up with one of my exs over the phone, but then a week later I found out he had been cheating on me for 2 months. But just for the record, I only cried for about a minute before just getting really angry at technology. I want to go back to the time where the girl would check her mailbox everyday to see if she got a letter from a special someone. Getting rejected by technology sucks. And now with Twitter, I can see some relationships beging ended with an @reply.


I'm gonna try and not to think about it because I know that God loves me and right now, He is the only man I want in my life. He is never ever going to let me down and never ever going to stop loving me. =]


Who Are You Now?

I feel the need to blog...not too sure why

Playing Uno tomorrow before work. I tottaly will win.

Idk why I'm even up this late. Bored I guess.

I'm finding all sorts of new freckles on me. I hope I don't have cancer.

I get to work a lot this week, which is nice for the wallet but not nice for the social life =[



I’m really thinking about just going to this music store to get some new music before I go to Michigan. Like, getting All Time Low’s new CD and maybe something really random so I can broaden my horizon.


Rumble Rumble


So…..I have a stye on my left eye. It hurts real bad sometimes, but having a warm washcloth on it helps tons. I’m still sick so I still look like crap but you can see that my left eye (well…in the picture it’s right) is puffy and gross. I hate feeling like this and I still can’t sallow without it hurting. Oh well… I just better get better before my vacation. 


Less is More

Uggggg I hate being sick. First of all, I look gross and puffy. I pretty much just wear sweatpants all day and look a mess. 2nd! I can't go out and do anything cause again...I'M SICK!!! But at the same time, it's kinda nice cause my parents don't want me to do a whole bunch.

Death has been on my mind a lot lately. With the loss of so many famous people like Farrah Fawcett, Micheal Jackson and Billy Mays, the American public has been able to see death more closely. I think many people chose to ingore death because of the simple fact that is depresses us. But with the sudden death of these important people, many of us are having to face the fact that death is all around us and that people die everyday.


I'm on the UP and UP

And AFTER!!!

Isn't nice to know?

getting senior pictures taken today. this is me before and i'll take a pic afterwards before i leave. don't i look awesome? jk




Look at me! I’m a bear!


Oh look, a blog update

Ok, so I leave for Colorado tomorrow around 5:30 AM. I’m so ready to be gone! I just wanna get out of here and stay with my brother for the rest of summer but I know that’s never ever gonna happen. Oh well. 

I really just want to sleep until it’s time to go, but then i’ll never sleep on that 20 hour bus ride, which is gonna be totally awesome btw. I have all this food that I got and cute Josh at Walgreens didn’t think I was a fatty for buying a bag of Cheetos, 2 cans of Pringles and a bag of Twizzlers. Go Walgreens staff! lol

I’m fer sure gonna go lay down though. I won’t be able to update anything for about a week, unless I can get cell phone service on top of a mountain, then I don’t think anything is gonna be updated while i’m gone. I will post pictures once this adventure is done. =]IMG000175


...In Shallow Seas We Sail

I'm listening to Emery's new album right now while packing for summer camp. I can't wait! I only wish I had a longer time to get ready for it. I've worked over 30 hours this week, so that's big money for me, but the fact that I've been having to wake up at like, 6 is kinda getting me down. On Saturday, I won't even have that luxery cause I have to wake up at 4 to be at work by 5. It's gonna suck. I have to do that two days in a row cause I get to leave at 5 for camp on Sunday.

I'm kinda glad that James isn't here this week. I would've had no time for him at all, which tottaly hurts, but at least I'll get to see him when I get back. I miss him so much. He is everything I could ever want in a boyfriend and I feel so lucky to have him. =]

My Glade candle is burning in the corner of my room and this album is sooo amazing. Go pick it up as soon as you're done reading this entry. =]

But all I have to say is...COLORADO HERE I COME!!!!!


Swing Dancing

Ok, so…I love swing dancing. Sure it is a man’s dance because they control pretty much everything in the dance, but it is still fun. I love getting dressed up and dancing. I think I have more fun than I really should. lol

But this past Saturday when I went, I got dehydrated pretty bad. Like, so bad when we went to go get ice cream, I couldn’t eat anything. And for everyone that knows me, I LOVE TO EAT!!! =]

But I drank some water, slowly, and I started to feel a bit better. I’ve been drinking a lot more water lately too because of my Colorado trip that’s coming up soon. I’ll take tons of pictures and put some on here if they turn out.

Anyway, I’ll catch you guys laters =]



Super bored right now. James had to go home wayyy too early tonight. Oh well. I do have to work in the morning, but not until 11:45.

Got surgery on my toe...again...

Gonna help teach a knitting class tomorrow so I hope all the dye is gone from my hands. lol

Sorry this blog is so...random? It's the pain meds.



The Big Clean- Day 1

Ok, so today is the first day of The Big Clean. I have some before pictures of my room to give you guys an idea of what it looks like right now and what I’ve been living with for over 2 years. 001 002 003 004 005 006 007

The ONLY reason it looks remotely clean is because our cleaning lady came today and I decided I needed a little extra help. She’s gone now so the rest is on my own. I’m putting on a CD so that when it’s done, I’ll take a break and maybe take a picture or two to show my progress. =]


The Big Clean

So Thursday is when I start The Big Clean. Before June is over, I plan on having everything in my room taken out so I can paint the walls and rearrange somethings. Thursday is when everything starts. I'm going to try and get the list below this little rant done before next Thursday. Lets see how this goes =]

1. Sort through books and decide which ones to keep/not keep.
2. Same thing as 1 but with clothes.
3. Get all those random boxes out
4. Recycle the magazines that I don't read anymore.
5. Recycle all the random water bottles I know I'm going to find.
6. Get papers and random crap out of my vanity and get that organized.

I'll most likely add more to this list after Thursday cause I just need a bunch of stuff to get done so I can start to rearrange and organize my room.


I Saw It On Your Keyboard

The pencils lay abandoned on the floor
where the flicker of the candle plays off
the paper.
Warm laundry sits in the basket
begging to be put away.
A tilting stack of books
threatens to fall over into a pile
of colorful yarn.
Magazines where the models are too thin lay
next to the closet and a Christmas tree
nightlight sits on the window sill.
Three bottles of lotion form their own
Bermuda Triangle around the Teen Spirit
and piles of mix CD's beg to be listened to.
A young girl is slumped on the squeaky bed
a small bear in her arms as she dreams of
a day where she can be with her only love
and have a room
that is not as


its the moon the sun and the sky

I'm so ready to be done with school it's not even funny. But the only reason I want to be done is so I can see James because it feels like I haven't seen him in ages. Work is taking up a lot of my time too and hopefully I won't have to close a whole bunch over the summer so I can spend more time with him. It's...it's just hard now cause his family is in town and I know family has to come first before me but I just wanna go kidnap him so I can at least spend some time with him. He would never fly for that though.

On a lighter note, I don't have to go to school tomorrow and I don't have to work so that means I get to sleep in. =]

Song of the moment: Single Millionaires by Brighten


I'm just chasing the wind

I don't really see the point in auditioning for plays anymore. Yes, I do miss the stage more than anything, but it's just really hard to walk into my acting class and having to learn from someone who didn't want you in their production. I see it as just a waste of my time to call me back when in the end, I'm not even choosen for the part. I waste so much time and energy worrying about if I made it or not and in the end, I don't. For the past 2 years, I've auditioned twice for the senior one acts, and 5 main stage productions. I've been in one show. I'm thinking about talking to Forrest or something to see if there is something wrong with me because I really do like acting, and I think if they were to see me potray someone who isn't easy on stage, they could see that I can be really good. We're doing 12th Night for our next production and auditions are in September. Hopefully some miricle will happen and I'll be cast for that. If not...My love of theatre may just stop in the seats and I'll never be able to be on stage again.


And I asked when

Right now as I type this, I'm sitting in my basement cause I'm scared that there is a torando warning in the area. Just to be safe, I decieded to go away from the party and sit down here where it is somewhat safe. It's kinda freaky, but what else am I supposed to do? Stand up there and play babysitter and listen to drunk adults laugh?
I just hope I can still go see Angels & Deamons tonight with James. I really hope the weather stops being so nasty so I can go.
Everyone is freaking out at work too cause our new shift, Matt, just quit, which is so lame cause he just started like, 2 weeks ago. Then Ben is being really mean to Jess even though she just got out of the hospital. I really dont' wanna go in tomorrow but I have to in order to help Jess out.
But I do get my hair cut tomorrow which is awesome! =] I'll post pictures as soon as I can.

Current Song: Confessions by City and Colour


Oh look at that I took a quiz

ENFJ - "Persuader". Outstanding leader of groups. Can be aggressive at helping others to be the best that they can be. 2.5% of total population.
Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test



So…IDK….I feel like I need to change the way I act. But if I did that, then I wouldn’t be me, ya know? BUT if it makes my friends like me more, is that a plus? I guess I don’t really need their approval as long as I have God’s. It’s just hard sometimes I guess. I’ll have to work on it I think.



First off, Wolverine was amazing!!! Go see it now!!!

But besides that, I’m having lots of mixed emotions right now about lots of things. I’m not sure yet if I want to go into detail about everything yet, maybe later….


Happy Mother’s Day!!!!!


Iced Grande Soy Vanilla Latte for here

Ok, so I'm at Starbucks working on some homework for English. I was working on my Great Gatsby paper, but I got sick of it so now I'm blogging. Also, I totally downed that latte. It was yummy =]
But so yeah, school sucks right now and I'm just waiting for it to get done. Our Seniors get out on Friday, but everyone else is stuck until the 27. Oh well, C'est la vie.
I decided to make a music video to Brett Dennen's "Ain't No Reason". I hope it turns out well. Now, I just need to get people to be in it. lol
Wish me luck!

Currently listening to: The Better Way by Brighten


Cheese Hearts

As school starts to come to a close, it also start to slowly consume my life. Hence the lack of updates. But don’t worry, I will update soon and it’ll be awesome!




You wasted life, why wouldn’t you waste the afterlife?

School is killing me. Like, I’m pretty sure I might go insane from all this stress. I just wanna be in college already so I don’t have to deal with all this anymore. I want to take classes that will help improve my writing, not make me freak out about the formula for distance or how many votes a bill needs to get passed in the senate. I feel like I should be going out and doing stuff than trying to make good grades which aren’t going to get me too far. Sometimes I feel like crying cause I just feel so overwhelmed by it all, but I know that if I were to do that, it wouldn’t get me anywhere. I’m just ready for school to be over and done with so I can have the summer off.


The worst is over, but you can have the best of me

So...I'm so ready for school to be over. I just have like, 30ish days and then it's summer. This summer is going to be great. I totally plan on spending at least 3 days a week with James. He is....amazing =]

I gotta review This Providence's new CD Who Are You Now? for newspaper. I think I'll put it on here after it gets published. I think it'll turn out really well. I like reviewing CD's and stuff like that cause it opens my eyes to what the artist is really trying to say. It's kinda awesome. =]

I have so much homework to do tonight and yet I don't wanna do it. I have like, 3 papers due in the next two weeks and I have to do a 45 minute presentaion on Uta Hagen and I have a lab in Physics that's due tomorrow. I think it's done, but I just gotta answer some questions. I dislike Physics sooo much.

OH, I forgot how good The Starting Line is. I hope they get off their break soon....


If It Means A Lot To You

So, someone said I never update my blog so here I go.

School has been making me so busy lately and I hate it. I already got a cold sore cause of all the stress. It's so not cool. *sneeze* (And yes, I did type that as I sneezed) English is pretty much killing me right now cause of all the papers that I have to write. I have 3 due in the next week! It's kinda crazy...

Ok, as of right now I've sneezed 4 times. Wait...make that 5.

6 times I've sneezed now.

Ok, onto some happier news, I found out over the weekend (7) that Joe Meno is a creative writing professor at Columbia College Chicago, which is my school of choice. Like, if I could go anywhere to write, it would be Columbia. They have one of the best creative writing programs in the country. Each year, they keep coming in 1st place with their short story collection, The Hair Trigger. Beating all these Ivy League schools 19 years in a row. That's longer than I've been alive!! Anyway, Mr. Meno is my inspiration for my writing style. His book, Hairstyles of the Damned is my all time favorite book and I would die if I got to work with him. His writing is just so real and I can't get enough of it. =]

But I would have to get hecka's scholarships if I were to go there, so I'll be praying about that pretty much until I get in.

Lately, every night I've been talking to James, which is wonderful cause I love talking to him. We've been talking a lot about our future and it makes me so hopeful that one day we can be together outside of college. I completly adore him and can't wait to talk to him tonight.

And just for the record, Waking Ashland is really good. I was listening to them while writing this so go check them out!


And our hearts are on the everglow

Just talking to James this past week has confirmed my thoughts about our future. I feel so happy now that nothing can ever bring me down...oh...besides James being gone this weekend. I'm so mad that I can't see him but at least I'll see him tomorrow... =]

I really need to get this paper about Richard Wright written but I might just do it later this week and turn it on on Wed or Fri or something. I just need to get it done. I think if I just go to Starbucks and write it I'll be fine cause I won't get distracted or anything there.

I'm gonna go read The Great Gatsby now. It's...ok...for a book. I think I need to read it outside of school in order to like it more cause right now I just have to analyize it but oh well...


Master Peanut

So, I'm trying this new thing where I only wash my hair everyother day. I'm hoping that it'll make my hair healthier if I don't strip all those natural oils out of it.


Sorry...I just sneezed...

Man, I can't wait for taco night...It's going to be so tasty

Oh, and I have a cold sore, which sucks and I hope that it goes away soon cause I hate them so so much.

Thats all for now. I'll update more later.



So, this past weekend, has been one of the best I can ever remember. Not only did I get a new phone, but I also got to hang out with James, not once, not twice but three times!

So my birthday date was super fun. I think I spent a little too much time on my phone but that's ok, right? lol But it was fun just being with him. I adore him so much. =] I love Dewey's Pizza. They are fantastic and their crust is really really good. I could just sit there forever eating that crust.

OH, idk why I'm thinking about it, but I got the entertainment editor position!!!


Swing dancing was a lot of fun, besides the part where my eye came into contact with Nick's elbow. I saw stars and couldn't see out of my left eye for about a minute. It still kinda hurts, but I'll be fine. If it still hurts tomorrow, I might ask my parents if I can go to the ER to make sure that I'm alright. But besides that, it was really fun. I love swing dancing so much and the guy I marry has to like it too cause I wanna be one of those old couples that goes to Casa Loma and dances =]

Ok, well, I'm off to bed. Sorry about the lack of posts, I've been really busy lately.



I was going to say something, but I forgot. JK JK

I'll do a real one later. I just haven't had time.



Made From Corn

Today, we went to Estes Park and saw some really neat but not as charming as Fort Collins

OH! So I just heard Starstruck by 3OH!3 on a commercial and now I’m kinda mad cause now everyone is gonna know it.

But anyway, so we visited the place where Steven King got the idea for  The Shining. The Stanley Hotel was really neat and I think it would be really cool to stay there sometime, maybe that’ll help get me some ideas for stories, but not horror stories. 004 Stitch

I’ve been using this new thing on my laptop that can make panoramic photos and I’ve been going a little crazy with it. lol

Anyway, after our little visit to the Stanley, we went into Rocky Mountain National Park and walked around a little bit. OMG! It was so beautiful and I loved every moment of it. I love spending time with my family and being in the mountains so that was amazing.  We even got to see not one, not two, but three big horned rams! I took some pictures of them but my mom was the one that got the really good ones.

020 Stitch

That’s the mountains from the edge of this lake that was frozen over. There were some people ice fishing or doing something with the ice. But the ice was starting to crack and it was freaking me out.

024 Stitch

I love the mountains!!!!!!!!



Ok, so right now I'm sitting in this little coffee shop next to my hotel and drinking some of the best coffee that I've ever had. That's right, Starbucks, someone is better than you. But anyway, I've been here for less than one day, and I already want to live here for the rest of my life. I'm in love with everything here. I visited Colorado State today and had a great time. That's going to be one of those school's that I HAVE to get into. I think I would have so much fun out here and it's a great place to learn as well.

Oh, by the way, this is what I saw this afternoon.

Yeah, be jealous. That's what I get to look at for this whole week that I'm here.

Anyway, CSU was really neat. I cannot wait to apply and see if they'll take me. Like, no joke, I really want to go there. But my heart is set on Columbia College Chicago. I'll just wait and see what God has to say about my plans for myself and see if they match His.

Everybody here is just so friendly and nice and I'm really gonna miss this enviroment when I go back home. But I miss James so much. Like, the whole time we were up in the parks, I kept thinking about him and how much he would like it out here cause there is so much to take pictures of. I can't wait to see him again =]

Oh, so I may or may not come home with a tattoo, I'll keep everyone posted on that. Partly because my brother is all like, oh we should all go get tattoos cause we're all here but Todd. And I'm like, YES! and my parents are like, maybe. So we'll see how that goes. lol

Well, anyway, I need to get writing, hope everyone is having a good week!

Psalm 121

Slow Down

I'm sitting here in my hotel room now cause my college tour with Colorado State isn't for a little while. Breakfast was really yummy and that pancake was HUGE! Mugs is a pretty cool little coffee shop. Maybe I'll go hang out there tonight if everyone else goes to a bar.

It says that it's 36 outside but it feels way warmer. I love it! It's supposed to get nicer later this week and be in the 60s on my birthday!!

I miss James like no other though. I still haven't found what I'm going to bring him back, but I'm sure I'll find something soon. I do have a week to find it though.

Oh! And my brother liked his bible. =]


Wow, that is loud

Ok, so now I’m on the plane and I think I’m over Kansas now. We’re over the clouds now so it’s kinda hard to tell. I really wish that airplanes had more room cause typing is really hard. Maybe I shouldn’t have chosen that window seat. Oh well.

3OH!3 playing now, which is kinda awesome.

I just got my Dr. Pepper so I might just listen to music now and save my laptop battery.

So long!

Why I Hate Airports

Ok, why is it now socially acceptable to take up 3 chairs when you’re at the airport? It’s so bizarre how society works now. Not only am I in the wrong gate, but I can’t even get on the internet. I wrote this on my Word document and now I’m just waiting for my flight to be called. It’s not for another hour and a half so I thought I’d rant for a little bit.

Looking around this gate, I see like, at least seven people on their cell phones. I thought people traveled to go and meet people, not talk at them on their cell phones. But right after I said that I got a text from James so who am I to talk? It’s almost disappointing knowing how important technology is to people now a days. For instance, my dad is talking very loudly on his cell phone, the two women in front of me are on their cell phones and the old man walking behind me has his cell phone. It’s crazy!!

My bike chain bracelet set off the alarm at security, which was kinda interesting. The guy was like; I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. So that was funny.IMG000155

^That’s the bracelet^

I might try and go sit by my gate soon just to see if I can. It just annoys me that there are these little kids who are sitting on the ground when the middle class business man has to have a seat for each of his cheap bags. Who knows what’s been on those floors! These are the people who will be leading our country in 30 years and we’re putting them on the floor. I guess that’s just what goes on now. But that just makes no sense to me. I thought people were supposed to be so kind and caring now, or maybe that’s just what I would like for the world to be like.

My mom just came up and I told her what I was writing about and she goes, “What’s not to like?” But I think there’s another flight that’s going to board from our gate soon which is good cause then I get to go sit down and not have my laptop be so far from me and the creepers that they let in the airport won’t be able to look over my shoulder.

The one good thing about this whole thing is that I got a rice krispy treat. =] And for it being airport food, it was pretty good. Now I only have an hour left, maybe I should try and do some homework, but that would mean that I was being productive. Oh, I guess I was wrong. It’s only like, 20 minutes until we board. But since I can’t get WiFi, it will seem like longer cause I won’t be able to post this for a real long time. Oh well. I’ll just post it at the hotel. Ok, well, we’re getting ready to board so I’ll post this when I get my hands on some WiFi!


‘I stopped my whole show just so you could take a picture’

On Sunday, I went to Fubar and witnessed one of the best concerts I have ever seen. It was an acoustic show and quite fantastic if I do say so myself.  Not only were the bands amazing, but I was so close to the stage that I almost got hit in the face several times.  I had the most fantastic time and I have like, all of the songs that were played stuck in my head for ever now. 077

This is Evan Taubenfeld. He was way way better than I ever expected. Like, all of his songs were just so great and you could really tell that Evan was having a blast on stage. Since it was his first solo tour, one would think he would be nervous but he was the total opposite. He was really nice too and I promised him that when he comes back to St. Louis, I would have a hemp bracelet ready for him. I can’t wait for him to come back! =]

^ This is for his single, Cheater of the Year, which you can buy on iTunes.


Ok, now onto The Academy Is…! William was so amazing like, no joke. I am in love with him and I’m so happy that I got the chance to see him live. He even said my name and dedicated a song to one of my friends! William blew me away with how real he really was with the crowd and with his songs. His interaction with the audience was amazing and I love the fact that I was so close to him during the show. If you haven’t heard anything by The Academy Is… then I suggest that you go out and buy their CD cause they are amazing.  I don’t think I’m ever going to forget this night ever.  106


The Academy Is...

Ok, so I may or may not be interviewing the members of The Academy Is… on Sunday. I would feel really bad if I missed youth group, but this is a once in a lifetime chance for me to do this and I would die if I missed something like this.

Another thing that’s been on my mind a lot is my hours at Starbucks. I just talked to my manager about it cause I was only getting 5 hours and this next week I don’t even think I’m working next week. I asked him about it and he was nice about it. I would just feel really bad if I got into my school’s One Acts and had to cut back on hours right after I talked to him about it. Maybe he’ll understand and let me not work as much during the production but afterwards working more. I really would like to work more over the summer cause I am saving up for college and all that fun stuff. In this day and age it’s really hard to even find loose change on the ground, so I need all the help I can get for college.



Ok, so I had the most fantastic weekend, aside from a few things.

James…He…He just amazes me. I love being around him and everything just feels right when I’m with him. When he goes away for college, I’ll feel horrible and scared and freaking out like, the whole first week. But then I’ll just know that everything is going to be alright cause God is on our side for this one (which is totally awesome!!).


Lightblubs on the Mirror

Life is good
It could be better
I'm waiting to be ready
and I know it's getting
The lightblubs on the
are closer than they appear
The light in my life
is further than it needs
to be.

God, I need you now
God, I want you closer.
Just be with me though this
hard time and lead me to
Your ever burning light.

School is getting better
and it's getting worse
The scarf on the floor
sits half finished
and my friends are
getting close.
I lose my phone half the
time and lose my mind
the rest.
Work is getting me nowhere
and I want out of this mess.
College seems so far away
but like the lightblubs,
is closer than I think.

God, I need you now
God, I want you closer.
Just be with me though this
hard time and lead me to
Your ever burning light.

God, I need you now
God, I want you closer.
Just be with me though this
hard time and lead me to
Your ever burning light.


the rain it falls harder now

man...i can't get him out of my head...it's wonderful and distracting at the same time...like, i'll be in school trying to do math then all of the sudden i can feel his arm around me and i lose my train of though...all day friday i was freaking out cause he was getting his widsom teeth removed and i was so sure i wasn't going to be able to see him over the weekend...thankfully i did get too...man...i hate being away from him for too long...my body starts to ache and i cant' function properly...at least i'll get to see him on friday...and at least i fall asleep every night texting him...he holds a very speical place in my heart and i can't wait to see him again...=]


Then and Now

Let’s go back to May of 2003, when a band from Chicago released their first full length album entitled Take This to Your Grave.

This band later went on to release four full length albums, each one getting more mainstream than the last. Yep, that’s right folks; I’m talking about Fall Out Boy.

Fall Out Boy is made up of Patrick Stump, Pete Wentz, Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley. These four friends have been though so much together, from marriages and scandals to charity work and writing four successful studio albums. But through all of this “hardship”, Fall Out Boy went from being this great amazing band that wrote songs from the heart, to…something that only writes songs to make money.

With the release of their latest album Folie à Deux on December 16, it is very plain to see that Fall Out Boy has lost sight of their original roots. The use of additional vocals and other instruments make the album seem too loud for its own good. Only a few songs seem to jump out at me as being really good. The album recently went gold on January 27, selling over 500,000 copies.

One of them, “What A Catch, Donnie,” doesn’t sound like the Fall Out Boy I used to love, but the last 30 seconds is where this slow song makes up for itself. Portions of lyrics from past hits are sung in the background by Elvis Costello, Gabe Saporta of Cobra Starship, Brandon Urie of Panic at the Disco, Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes, Doug Neumann of Doug, Alex DeLeon of The Cab, and William Beckett of The Academy Is…. This is the only redeeming quality that I could find on this album and it only lasted a total of 30 seconds.

It used to be that every single song on a Fall Out Boy album got me excited to hear more and now, it’s like I’m listening to every other band in the world who only write music to make money.

Infinity on High, which was released on February of 2007, was ranked 46 on Rolling Stone’s Top 50 Albums of 2007. The album had a total of five singles that came off of it; each had their own music video that accompanied the song. This album shows the transition that Fall Out Boy had from being really good to being really bad. Only a few songs like, "Thnks fr th Mmrs" and "The Take Over, the Breaks Over" held a glimmer of what Fall Out Boy once was; an awesome pop-punk band that could make great music like no one’s business. Other songs on Infinity on High were worth remembering and others…just didn’t quite cut it. Although they did sell over 1,500,000 copies of Infinity on High, it wasn’t one of their best albums.

From Under The Cork Tree was where Fall Out Boy made it big. With singles from the album like “Dance, Dance”, “Sugar, We’re Going Down” and “A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More Touch Me”, made it really hard for fans, or anyone for that matter, not to like this album. The songs were still down to earth and were written from the heart. The videos that came with all the singles as well were some of the best that Fall Out Boy has ever done. This is the album where everyone had finally heard about this Chicago band. Their record sales soared, selling over 2,600,000 records.

In May of 2003, Fall Out Boy released their first full length album; Take This To Your Grave. This featured singles like, “Dead On Arrival”, “Grand Theft Autumn / Where Is Your Boy” and “Saturday”. It’s hard to imagine that Fall Out Boy didn’t receive more attention from fans. The songs are catchy and have so much more heart and soul in the lyrics than their newer songs. Wentz, who is the primary lyricist, collaborated with Stump to write this album. They did a great job and this album clearly doesn’t get as much credit as it deserves. The song off this album, “Dead On Arrival,” is available for play on the video game Rock Band.

Looking back on their career, their songs have gone from something great and are slowly dwindling to music that is just there to make money. Before they became famous, Fall Out Boy was making music because they actually wanted to not because they wanted to make money (shocker). Fall Out Boy, although they deny it, have sold out and become something that everyone can relate to now, instead of a select few. They’re trying to make the most money they can so all they do is write songs that are so generic and boring that it hurts to listen to them.

If you would like to listen to some good quality old school Fall Out Boy, check out Take This To Your Grave and From Under The Cork Tree. Those two albums will give you the best look at Fall Out Boy before they got famous and sold out.




Society has ruined the dating pool. Not only are you expected to say "I love you," on your first date, but the whole concept of the date has been abolished! Whatever happened to the guy courting the girl in order to gain her affection? It sickens me that both parties are subjected and thrown into this reality that is society today. Say if after like, a week you decide that you don't like the person anymore, you breakup with them and you move on to the next one. RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD NOT BE LIKE THAT!!! Who in the world decided that it should be like that in the first place? Some dumb 6th grader who wanted a boyfriend but liked 8 different boys? I think that is who decided it should be like that and that dumb 6th grader has messed it up for the rest of us! Maybe when I get older this will all be easier, but I'm not too sure. This could follow me though my whole adult life and then my children's outlook on relationships will be skewed because of society because no doubt some other dumb 6th grader is gonna think of another great idea for relationships. It's a never ending cycle that will follow everyone though this little phase called life.


Ok...That video is like, the coolest video ever!

A lot of things have been on my mind latly. Well...Maninly just the issue I have with Katie right now. I really wanna be with James (who is like the most amazing guy ever) but I made this oath with Katie that I wouldn't date until the summer. And she even told me that it wouldn't be a good idea for me to hang out with James anymore because he might get the wrong idea. But with James, everything feels right. He is willing to wait for me, which is tottaly radd. =] But I'm a little scared that he'll lose intrest and find someone else before he leaves for college. I keep praying about it and I really do think that God wants James and I to be together. I'll just keep praying about and see where it goes.


Stuck In America

Wow...The last few days have been just...really great. =]

I honestly thought I would never feel this way about someone. He's funny, nice, charming, creative and a believer. Theres a million other things but I don't think think there's enough room to fit all of them. But my favorite thing, possibly, is that he's so...real. Like, with Blake, he would act different around me and around his family than he would in public. I could never tell what was going on his head. But with James, he's so real and I don't have to act like a different person around him. And believe it or not, he likes my little quriks (which is awesome!) =]

This just feels right =]


Setting Goals

Today, I decided that I need to get my short story done by the end of the month and that it needs to have a title and everthing. That'll give me about a month to edit it and make sure it looks real good for the contest that I'm in. =]

I'm getting my hair cut today. I kinda wanna go back to when it was really short, but then I got to thinking that that would be too short. Not wanting to look like a boy, I think I'm just gonna get about an inch cut off and get my bangs trimmed. I really want straight bangs, but I'm not too sure that I could pull those off, so I might just get my side swept bangs.

My mom is gone this week so it's just me and my dad. It's pretty cool, I guess. We kinda just stay seperate but at the same time, we're close. I'm not too sure how to describe it, but it's comforting and I like it that way.



Today was pretty good.

The sun was out and everything was really pretty. I went to castlewood with my environmental issues class and the hike was really nice, even if I didn't have the right shoes on.

Actor's Studio 1 kinda sucked, partly because of the group I was in. It just sucked cause this one girl didn't have her entire group there so she joined mine and we had the same character and she was just trying to take over and so far, I haven't gotten to run though the scene with my group. Oh well. I'll just have to overly work with my group the next time.

But A Day To Remember's new album is really really good! Go check it out!!!


"It's magic," she says to me

Crazy weather we've been having. It's Febuary and it was 55 degrees yesterday. INSANE!!!

I got a new dress for swing dancing, now I just need to get someone to cover me for when I wanna go. I've been getting so few hours I hate giving them away but at least I have more of a life?



I glanced up at him from under my eyelashes, this always gets them, and listened to him speak. His words flowed together like water down a stream. Taking a sip of my tea, I watched his lips mumble out words that wouldn’t normally intrigue a regular person.

I shivered and mumbled about being cold. Looking up at him, I saw him take off his jacket and hand it to me, still warm from being on his body. Thanking him, I donned his warn leather jacket and hugged it tight to my body. His only access of warmth smelled of his musky cologne and coffee beans. I hugged it tighter to my chest and watched his eyes take it off of me. Smiling to myself, we resumed our talk and kept walking down the strip. Most of the shops were closed, due to the weather, but it was still a nice place to walk. Dry leaves rustled at my feet as I looked up to smile at him.

His smile could melt ice. Mike’s pale pink lips curved upward revealing that I had broken though that barrier that he tried to keep up. He had just proved that he was capable of compassion just though that little curves of his lips. Those full pale pink lips that begged me to kiss them; to join my own red lips to his. They were taunting me with the known fact that I could never kiss him, that I could never become one with him.


Tomorrow I have to give a talk about relationships for my Friday morning bible study. I'm freaking out! I know what I'm going to talk about, but at the same time, I have no idea what is going to come out of my mouth. Wish me luck?

Heaven For The Weather

It usually takes me about 30ish minutes for me to get ready in the morning. But I think about 20 of those is spent on my laptop. I'm so weird...


I Can't Believe We're Not Going to Fight For This School

Watching X-Men 3 after having quite the awkward moment at the Lodge. Oh well. I guess stuff like that happens.....


We're So Far Away

Standing in the
White shower,
Flows around
Covering me in
Taking away all
Of the
Stress that
Has built up

It does not
Look like
How much weigh
How smart you are
It will still
Engulf you
In its loving
Safe arms
And take care of

Washing away the
Day and
Everyone that
Hurt you
Reminding you
Of people who
In you
Relaxing your
Tight muscles and
Telling you
Its ok to
The water will not
Judge you.
It will not call you
The water
Will love you
Watch you

You will never be
with the same
Each time you
Get to start
A new name
A new face
A new person

The water will
Watch over you
And love you
Care for you
Guide you
Just trust in the water.


The Ocean

School is really stressing me out. I wish homework wasn't a huge deal...


Hearts Pounding

I think this summer, I might start painting. Like, going and buying some canvas or a sketch book and some watercolors and painting in a field or something. IDK...it just feels like something I should start doing.


Don't be so scared

I went to the
Because my writer's block
was getting worse.
He ran
blood tests and
did X-Rays on my hands
but they all came out
Sitting on the
We went though
different operations
that we could do
One, he said, involved a
total draining of my blood
and giving me a different blood type
in hopes that it
would spark some creativity.
Another was giving me the hands
of another famous author
Who would help pick out the right
words on the keyboard
But none appealed to me.
I went home
with a loss of hope and
$500 that I would never
get back.
Maybe this writers block
means something
Like...How I need to
get a life and get out of that
little tiny corner
of Starbucks


Is it getting hot in here or is it just 3OH!3

Today, I was informed that I was nominated to be in a writing competition. I'm real excited for that. If I win this or place or whatever happens in this competition, then it'll look great on my college application. Right now, Columbia College is where my heart lies. I really want to get into their Fiction Writing program (it's one of the best in the country). I love writing and I try to write a little bit everyday. Whether it be on this blog or in my novella that I'm working on, I need to write something everyday. If I win this, just even in my school, this could take me places. I'll be praying about this a lot, cause if this is God's plan for me to be a writer, then it will happen. =]


Bop N Beep

Sometimes, I with life was like a Disney movie. You'd dance with one guy, fall in love and get married the next day. There's no second guessing, no having to choose between two guys. Everything just works out. None of those princesses realise how lucky they are to have a great husband who would risk his life for yours. They just assume that this is what happens everyday to everybody else in the world.

And that is my rant for the day.


Yes We Did

Thinking about changing the layout. What do you guys think?


57 and rising

If I had to rate today, I'd give it an 8.5 only because I went on a walk in the beautiful weather and I had my actor's studio class. I'm really enjoying it.
I can't wait for spring break. It's going to be the best thing ever.

I'm thinking about doing a live blog tomorrow around maybe 8 or saturday around that same time. I wanna do live blogs with my friends cause I'm scared that no one will come and watch it. Oh well. C'est la vie.


Prep Class

I wish I didn't have to take the ACT.
I wish I was out of the house now.
I wish I had my tattoo.
I wish my mom would quit drinking.
I wish my parents would stop fighting.
I wish Blake hadn't cheated on me.
I wish that life will get better.
I wish I had a better relationship with God.
I wish my room was clean.
Did I mention how much I want to be out of my house?
I wish that all nights at work were like tonight.
I wish I could go swing dancing with Steven.
I wish my mom could see how her put downs really affect me.
I wish I was in Colorado.
I wish it was summer.
I wish that I had a replacement for the 31.
I wish Steven texts me about Friday.
I wish it was easier for me to fall asleep.


One More Night

I don't regret what I did. It had to be done. I wasn't happy and I felt bad leading him on. Praying helps, which is good. I'm glad to be single now, I guess. We're better off this way. God will send him the perfect woman for him, and it's not me. Likewise, he'll send the perfect man to me. But for now, I'll focus on school and work and stay away from boys.



I'm really trying to work on my relationship with Blake right now. We're seeing a movie on Saturday after I get off work. It should be fun, right? I hope so...